Four Eyes, ha

A few weeks ago I came to the realization that I am in need of some kind of phone. My sole means of spoken communication up to this point has been Skype, the incredible Internet communication software that lets you call phones, computers, or cell phones anywhere in the world for free or next to nothing. I’ve become an expert at Skype ever since I started dating my girlfriend, whom, if you don’t know already, is Peruvian. Since I’ve been in Peru I’ve utilized Skype to call everyone – family, friends, and even places here in Lima. However, I’ve noticed one flaw with my Skype communication method – I need my laptop. So, let’s say I take a Combi (small bus here in Lima) to La Punta, which happens to be an hour outside of Lima and is a very dangerous place for a lonely Gringo like myself, and I need a way to communicate with someone… I can’t bring my laptop with me. (Yes, I’m implying that I accidentally traveled in a Combi for an hour to the wrong part of town – think, Clark Griswold in East St Louis, “Uh, excuse me holmes, we’re from out of town.” “No shit”.).

I researched a few options, but while I was doing my research an interesting conflict revealed itself to me – it costs a lot of money to call someone who uses a different cell phone provider. I could sign up for the $20/month plan with Nextel, but if I needed to call someone that uses Movistar or Claro I would start the meter around $1.99/minute. This absolutely ridiculous revelation finally gave me some clarity as to why I see most people with two cell phones. People have realized it actually costs them less money to have two cell phones than to call everyone from just one device.

If you know me at all, you know that I was a little late on the whole cell phone phenomenon, and my family was even later – I purchased my very first cell phone when I was a senior in college, 2005… I was 22 years old. My parents acquired their first cell phones in 2008, so The Meaghers aren’t exactly up-to-date on this whole cell phone thing (sorry mom and dad, I love you). So, despite my hereditary deficiency with cell phone usage, I finally bought a Nextel. Lucia owns a Nextel so the obvious solution was to get one as well. It’s good enough to call the people that I need to call, and for everyone else out there, sorry, but I’m not paying two bucks a minute to talk to you… send me an email, or a memo. What am I talking about… I talk to Lucia and maybe a few people from work, who am I kidding?

Speaking of Lucia, she recently got a new job at Movistar in the marketing department. Movistar is another cell phone provider here in Peru – so, in other words, my girlfriend gets a job at a cell phone company… you might be able to imagine what happens next. Lucia drops her Nextel plan because Movistar gives her a free phone (a cool one too) and gives her free cell phone service. What, I’m screwed – damn you cell phones, will I ever win?

So now who am I going to call with my Nextel? Why do I need this Nextel? If you were to ever look at my cell phone bill you would see 99% of the calls going to Lucia’s number. Loser. I didn’t know what to do next, I already signed up for a 6-month plan with Nextel, but then, Lucia came to the rescue. She was able to get me a free phone and free plan with Movistar. Now I can talk for free again, but this new opportunity has caused me to do something that I hate – be ‘that guy’ with two cell phones. Yes, it’s true… So, if you see me on the street, I give you permission to call me names, make fun of me on G-Chat to your friends, and even call me “Four Eyes” (even though I don’t wear glasses anymore). I’m thinking that life was much simpler without all these cell phones. Maybe the Meagher hereditary deficiency is actually a blessing in disguise. The world gets too confusing with all this technology. Keep it simple, thanks mom and dad.

-BJM

R.L Stine, Adventure Woods, and Morning Beers

Exchange City is a great way to offer fifth grade students the opportunity to perform duties found in common careers - policemen, firemen, businessmen, restaurant owners, etc. Essentially, EC creates a mini city for one day for a particular group of students. When I had the distinguished opportunity to attend this magical city for a day back in 1994, I was chosen as the Post Office Treasurer; probably the most boring of all the jobs offered at EC. In fact, I was so embarrassed by this job that when other fellow Exchange Citians asked me what my job was I told them, without hesitation, "Have you read the new Goosebumps book? R.L. Stine is one of the greatest authors of our time. Am I right?" The usual response that followed was a "huh", which gave me plenty of time to get back to the Post Office where I was safe from ridicule.

Once I got into high school the pressure was turned up a bit when we attended Adventure Woods. I'm sure many of you have attended this place where not only your team work and leadership abilities were put to the test, but more importantly your physical abilities were exposed as being inadequate and somewhat humorous. If you like to fall backwards with your eyes closed, climb a wall without a rope, or try to fit 14 sweaty people on top of a small 2x2x2 foot square then I'm guessing you'll enjoy Adventure Woods.

With these two wonderful experiences in mind, my expectations going into Friday's field trip at Santa Maria were scattered across the board. I was thinking of my old field trips at Exchange City and Adventure Woods, but I was also intrigued by the opportunity of experiencing a school sponsored trip in a foreign country. I've heard stories about service trips to exotic jungle towns and even a week service project at Machu Picchu, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect.
Once I got word of the place - the beach - then all I had left to figure out was the agenda. We would be taking the whole freshmen class on this trip (about 100 students), along with 8 teachers including myself. I was trying to imagine team-building activities on the beach, or even individual spiritual development in the presence of the vast oceanfront.

So, Friday morning comes and I confirm that I have the two most important items for the beach - my SPF 1,000 sun screen and my Dora the Explorer beach towell. All the freshmen line up in front of school around 8am patiently awaiting the arrival of the 4 buses that will transport us to our destination. The buses arrive, we drive to the beach which is about an hour away, and finally get to our destination to start the day.

Half of the students immediately run to the ocean and start body boarding. The other half make themselves comfortable next to the pool, which is next to the bar, which is where I find all of my fellow professors already settled in for the day. I walk over to the other teachers and say in my best Spanish, "Well, what now?" They tell me to, "...sit down, relax, have a cold one, and enjoy the benefits of a Santa Maria field trip."

My first thought is, cold one? Really? It's 9am in the morning people. Does working at Santa Maria bring your spirits down so much that the only thing that will help is, well, spirits? I give them a polite, "Gracias, pero, no gracias." and continue to veg-out on the beach until 11:30. 11:30 is special because its the only scheduled event of the day - the teachers versus students water polo game. Talk about mismatch. I felt like Michael Scott on The Office getting his sales team fired up to play the warehouse guys at the DunderMifflin basketball game. We lost before we even stepped foot into the pool, but it was a good chance for my skin to feel the rath of the sun so I guess there was some kind of benefit.

As the day came to an end, and the student's comments about my ever-changing skin color were increasing, I felt like I had successfully experienced my first field trip as a teacher. We loaded everyone on the buses around 4pm and headed home.

If I think about my experiences with Exchange City, Adventure Woods, and now the Peru Beach Excursion I can think of many similarities and differences. I couldn't begin to rank them though, that might be asking too much. Each destination offers its own learning experiences and memorable moments, even if some of those experiences are at the expense of my own ego. Every opportunity is a chance to learn something new, so no matter what opportunity I am presented with next, I will try to represent all Post Office Treasurers to the best of my ability.

I miss you. You know who you are.

-BJM

Almost official

Well, I moved into the new place on Saturday. This means that I'm almost an official Peruvian. I think the only thing left to do is have the initiation ceremony, which, I 've heard involves the official Peruvian hairless dog - Doggy. We'll see how it goes.

You can check out some pictures from the new place if you click the slideshow to the left.

I got extremely lucky and got a place right next to my work. The building has five floors, with five apartments - mine being the top floor. I'm not quite sure how to describe this apartment. Some parts, like the kitchen, are incredibly scary. But other parts, like the living room and balcony, are absolutely incredible.

The interesting part about this apartment is that it is open to the elements. My bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen are covered by a normal ceiling and roof. However, the hallway to get from my bedroom to the kitchen... or from the kitchen to the living room... or from the front door to anywhere is open to the elements. Meaning that there is no roof, just a wall about chest high. I think the pictures describe it better than I can.

People, places, things… and cultural differences.

Lima is a fairly large city, with the population ranging somewhere from 7 to 9 million people. The other day I heard someone at school say there are 12 million people living in Lima, so who knows. By American standards most of the people are poor, myself included. For example, I work at a school, which is considered to be one of the wealthier schools in Lima and Peru, but by US standards I make less than the minimum wage. However, I understand I'm living in a completely different culture, so making those types of comparisons may not be fair.

For instance - tipping. At a restaurant, if I've had a good meal with excellent service then I think at least a 15 percent tip is in order. This is probably due to the fact that I was a waiter in college and maybe I'm somehow making up for all those horrible tips I've received over the years. Whatever the reason, my tipping strategy in Peru is considered to be "showing off" or too "American" because my concept of tipping is completely different from that of Peruvians. This might be a gross generalization, but in Peru it is normal to tip about 2 or 3 percent.

I’ve also found that I’m forced into giving a tip at times, even when I don’t feel it’s necessary. For example, if I happen to be driving (or riding in a car with Lucia… or someone from work) we can stop at most stoplights and find street performers. Simply put, these are people that do semi-impressive stunts while the light is red – juggling, acrobatics, flame throwers, or just simply a good ole’ cartwheel… or on a good day, somersaults. They have timed their “performance” just right so that they have enough time to impress the audience of impatient drivers as well as walk around to collect a tip for the forced entertainment.

Another example, which can be found all over the world and is not limited to Lima, is when people come up to your car and just start washing your windshield. First of all, you don’t want them touching your car, and second, the towel they’re using is so dirty that the result is actually worse than when they first started. And if you’re really lucky, he’ll be cleaning your window with today’s newspaper, seriously. I can’t help but laugh when that happens… I think I’ll start carrying a towel, newspaper, or used handkerchief around with me; and when I’m walking to and from work I’ll earn a few extra bucks washing the windshields of all the cars on my route. (By the way, just thinking out loud here; handkerchiefs - your snot is transferred from your nose to your pocket. Think about it… if you or someone you know suffers from this bizarre practice, please know that you’re not alone and there is help out there for you).

And finally, the most unnecessary of all tip-mongers: the “parking-spot-towel-waving-man”. This man’s sole purpose is to wave you into an open parking spot while whistling, waving a dirty towel at you, and holding his hand out for a tip. Oh, yes, he also guides you while exiting the spot as if he’s your driver’s-ed instructor. If I happen to have something then yes, maybe I’ll tip him. But come on man; he’s like that guy at your work that’s always walking around and you have no idea what he does there – he's just there. He’s that guy, but worse, he’s asking for money.

I guess if I think about it, dealing with these sort of things isn't too much to ask of someone, right? Maybe I should have been a parking-spot-towel-waving-man in college instead of a waiter. I would probably have a greater appreciation for the trade, in all it's intricacies, and as a result tip the men who so kindly guide me into the blatantly obvious, open parking spot. I'll think about it.

-BJM

Negotiating Skills - in a second language

For those of us that don’t have the privilege of owning a vehicle we have a few options to get around the wonderful city of Lima.

:::The combi’s – If you’ve read my previous posts/emails then you know what I’m talking about here – a cheap, adventurous trip in a cramped bus with twice the legal capacity of passengers. It’s good if you’re in the mood to participate in a rugby scrum, on a bus, on the way to work.

:::Walk – I enjoy walking and I use it as my main form of transportation.

:::Taxis – I don’t despise taxis, I just dislike the inevitable conversation that happens every time I get in a taxi. Which is to say they find out my life story before they charge me at least 50 percent more than the normal cab fare. Why are you in Peru? What do you do? Will Barack Obama save the world? The usual.

In Lima, taxi fares are negotiable. You flag down a taxi… or the taxi just follows you slowly as you walk until you turn and give him some attention. After the initial step of choosing the right taxi, here is how a typical conversation goes:

Brian: Hola, buenas tardes.
Taxista: Hola gringo, buenas tardes.

(Already off to a bad start... he's calling me a gringo, or white guy in English, which implies that he's going to overcharge me)

Brian: Conoces Colegio Santa Maria? Esta en Chacarilla.

(Keep in mind, a normal 10-minute taxi ride here in Peru would cost me maybe 1 or 2 dollars.... or 3 to 6/7 Peruvian soles)

Taxista: Si, amigo. Para ti, 12 soles.
Brian: (my response is always the same) Claro, 4?
Taxista: 8
Brian: Ya, OK, vamos.

The word “okay” or O.K. is used as frequently in Spanish as it is in English. And just imagine if the taxista doesn’t know where Colegio Santa Maria is located. However, luckily there is always a taxi waiting behind another negotiating taxi just in case an agreement is not reached. I’ve learned that I’ll get a cheap rate if I mention well known landmarks instead of the specific location; and hopefully as my Spanish improves I’ll be able to negotiate even lower rates. But until then, “Claro, 4?”

Chau chau

-BJM

I have to remind myself I’m the teacher. Weird.

Well, the first day of work came and went without too much trouble. I enjoy my schedule, for the most part, with the exception of Fridays simply because I have 7 classes. On those days, I have little time for lunch, bathroom breaks, or even just to sit and get my head straight before the next batch of teenagers come into the classroom.

The first order of business for all the classes – the rules. I only had a few rules that I wanted everyone to follow, nothing too bad. The seniors listened to the rules, agreed to them, and we moved on with class without a hitch. The freshmen, however, took note of the rules I think simply to figure out different ways to break them. For example, the very first class I had with one group of freshmen was worth noting.

I wanted to test their English level, so we played a pseudo-game in which the students think of a word in English and point to another student in class. That student must use the word in a sentence using the past, present, and future tenses. This just helps me understand what the students already know and what types of things we need to work on this year.

The game is going okay until its time for one of the quieter students to take his turn. First, he describes the word that was assigned to him, then its time for him to choose another word and point to another student to take their turn. However, he quietly says the words, “Female reproductive system” as if he is embarrassed to say it, rightfully so. Of course, the whole class says altogether “What?!?!”. At first, it took me by surprise, so I had to think for a second about what kind of punishment was going to follow, but while I was thinking he said a variation of his previous phrase… he said, “Reproduction”. But this time he gave the class a visual of what he was trying to say by doing 4 and a half pelvic thrusts while saying, “Re-pro-duc-tion”. Of course, the class erupts in laughter, and as a result I have to kick him out of class (but I’m laughing a little on the inside too). It takes a few minutes to get the class back under control, but we go over the rules one more time before I start making them do wall squats*. Just kidding, I would never physically hurt these guys… I only want to scar them emotionally so that I keep haunting them years after they’ve left school. Right?

Anyway, I think I’ll enjoy the senior’s classes. I want to win their trust without being their friend (and thus losing control)… so my first assignment was for them to read an article from the New York Times about the benefits of more recess in school. We’re taking the next couple weeks to discuss, read, and debate the topic of recess and break-time in schools. I have some good ideas and some interesting literature discussing both sides of the argument. If you have any good info on the subject I would love to hear it (for example, a school in the US switched to 4-day school weeks, incredible)… of course the students are all for this, they started to discuss it as they were leaving my class on Friday.

This year should be interesting. The English department has given me freedom to teach what and how I would like, which is a blessing. I will bring my camera to school tomorrow to take some pictures of the school. Updates to follow.

*Wall Squats: Lean up against a wall as if you were on an imaginary toilet seat. Your knees must be at a 90 degree angle. Remain in this position until the teacher tells you to get up. Only once the student has begun to sweat do I start the 5-minute countdown. Try it at home and you'll see how grueling it can be.

You have an MBA... hmmm, good luck teaching English.

Thursday, March 5... Welcome back to school, how was your summer? Yes, that's right, that dreaded phrase - "First week of school" - is back in my vocabulary. I was riding the bus today (public trans, not school bus) and thinking of how many times I've said that phrase - and the horrible feelings that usually follow. Now it's different. Now I am a teacher, an English teacher, and my lack of proper teaching credentials has everyone at work/school worried about me.

First, the teachers are worried that my lack of the Spanish language will evoke some misbehavior from the students. I can understand and agree that making fun of a teacher in a language he or she doesn't know is a tempting proposition. As a result, I've been brainstorming about possible solutions - the best so far is to introduce a rule stating that speaking in Spanish, good or bad, is not allowed in class. My other solution was to learn Spanish in two weeks, so if you have any suggestions please let me know... school starts March 5th by the way.

Second, many teachers are skeptical of my ability to manage a classroom. Since I have little teaching experience, I don't have a degree in teaching, and my only known English expertise comes from the fact that I'm a native english speaker, I can see how they've come to that conclusion. I've also heard the horror stories about former Americans coming into this school and getting "eaten alive" trying to teach English. My rebuttal to the skeptics regarding this topic is not so easy to answer. I'll work on that answer when classes start; I have some interesting ideas but I want to test my abilities first before I tell everyone my theories.

And finally, just because someone performs the same job for 25 years doesn't necessarily mean that person is good at what they do. Conversely, simply because someone is in their first year of teaching doesn't mean they don't know how to teach. The implication that tenure has a direct relationship with one's ability is a debatable topic. Granted, experience can be one of the best teaching tools and I absolutely admire, respect, and learn from those with experience (especially those people willing to share and teach... I know countless people, I hope to be one of those people one day). But I also know that a person's ignorance and comfort with the routine can restrain creativity and prevent students/subordinates/whomever from reaching their full potential. Of course, this is only my opinion... and I am still a young, inexperienced person, so think what you will. Anyway, I'm getting too deep for this blog/email. But, you can see that introducing me into this new teaching life has brought up new challenges that I'm excited to face.

We'll see how it goes on Thursday... we'll see if the phrase, "First week of school" still brings with it those horrible feelings. I doubt it.

Sincerely,

Profesor Brayan

Photos

I am constantly uploading new photos. Please check out my album here -

http://picasaweb.google.com/bjmyp6

Chau

-Brian