Fear of Clowns

Here's a short little story about an encounter I had today...

I've heard a few times in my life that the one thing that people fear most in this world is public speaking. Some people would rather face death than to speak in front of a crowd. It is intimidating, for sure, but for me public speaking is not that big of a deal. However, I have my own fears - most infamous is my fear of clowns. I don't know when it started because I don't recall ever encountering clowns at a young age. But when I went into high school then on to college the fear revealed itself to those around me. My roommates in college played a couple horrible pranks on me... involving full clown outfits and a lot of chasing. I get chills just thinking about it.

Well, I think I'm getting over my fear. This week I don't have to work because of a break between semesters so I've been taking some Spanish classes and traveling around Lima a bit. This morning I got on a combi to go to my Spanish classes. Everything was as normal as it could be - a few people sleeping, the cobrador (the guy who recruits people to get on the buses) yelling at everyone "Pesaje. Pesaje por favor. Pesaje en la mano!!!!", and me trying to hold on for dear life as we weave in and out of traffic. I usually try not to make eye contact with anyone, but about 5 minutes after I got on I heard a very loud voice enter the bus. From what I could hear there was a man telling everyone to get ready for the show. After I heard that I looked up to see what was happening, and I see a startling sight - a clown. Not just any clown... a Peruvian, dirt-poor clown just tryin' to make a living entertaining Lima's bus travelers one combi at a time. I immediately started sweating and breathing heavier. I stayed calm though, I said to myself, "this is no time to panic because where can I go?... I'm stuck in this crowded bus."

So I listened and watched the so called "entertainment". The only thing he did was tell a story about his life and how he became to be a clown. I didn't get all the facts simply because I was constantly thinking of ways to kill him (or myself) if he came near me. However, when he finished his speech he started walking around to take donations. As he came closer to me alot of things started going through my head - my family, my friends, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Grandma's house. I came face to face with the monster, looked him in the eye as he said to me, "Por favor joven." simply means, Please young man. He stuck out his hand and I reached into my pocket for anything I could find. I had a few cents in there that I gave him. I put it in his hand and he reached up to my chest, I stopped breathing, and he put something in my shirt pocket. He said thank you and kept walking. I reached into my pocket to see what he put there - a toffee candy. Delicious.

My first face to face encounter with a real clown was kind of anti-climactic. There was no blood shed, no balloon animals in inappropriate places, and no spine-tingling laughs. He smelled a little, but that's because he is a poor Peruvian guy just trying to make a living. He didn't try to attack me, actually, he gave me a delicious toffee candy - it reminded me of when I was a young kid at my grandparent's house. My grandpa always had toffee candies in the basement that I couldn't stop eating.

Anyway, we finally arrived at my stop, Avenida Benavides. The clown thanked the crowd and got off the bus. I followed him and tried to act like I was afraid of him... He could probably smell my fear. In my haste I crossed the street quickly and then heard a voice yell, "Cuidado Joven!", I looked up and saw a taxi driving about one foot in front of me. I quickly jumped out of the way to miss the passing taxi. I turned around to see who warned me of the near-death accident... the clown was simply looking at me with a bright, toothless smile giving me a thumbs-up. I gave him a thumbs-up in return as well as a sincere Gracias.

I walked away just laughing at myself. Do your thing, clown, do your thing. The end.


I couldn't get a direct picture of the clown for fear of retaliation, but here are some pix of the guy who saved my life.... it is difficult to see him, but he is the one with the yellow hair and the red visor.


-BJM

Feliz Día Mamá

This post is dedicated to all the moms out there. If you are reading this, and you are a mother, I must express my sincere appreciation for you. No matter how old your children are - 6, 26, or 56 years old - your mother continues to act as an unconsciously selfless part of the family. Especially, my mom. thanks mom, I love you.

Here are some good and funny quotes that I found online about mother´s... found on QuoteGarden...


Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. ~Sam Levenson

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. ~Aristotle

Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children. ~Marilyn Penland



Happy Mother´s Day mom... here are just a few pics of your proud children...

Kyle - as this picture was taken, he was imagining his life as a father and passed out. No babies were hurt in this picture.

Teresa - even after this picture was taken, Jason still proposed to her. What´s worse - to be a crazy lady or be the guy married to the crazy lady?

Me - I feel that a comment will only diminish the quality of this picture... I think it is best if we just move on without commenting.

Joe - I couldn´t find any recent incriminating pictures of Joe, so I went back to the good old days when tube socks, short shorts, and Royals games were all the rage.

Again, Happy Mother´s Day to all the proud moms out there. We´re all sincerely grateful for everything you do.

- Brian

First Semester Review and Credits

One of my original posts on this blog was about my first few weeks as a teacher. Actually, I hadn’t even taught one class yet and people were questioning whether or not I could handle it. I heard the horror stories of past American English teachers with no Spanish language experience. Yes, they were horror stories. I was assigned to teach the seniors, or as one of my friends here in Lima put it, “Wow, they’re throwing you into the wolves on the first day. Good luck.” Ironically, that is exactly what I have had an abundance of here – no, not wolves… luck.

With only one week remaining before the end of the first semester I have two months of teaching under my belt and some interesting opinions.

First, I enjoy teaching. I guess if I can be more specific… I enjoy teaching English, as a foreign language, to seniors, and preferably to a single gender classroom. Maybe because I’ve been put in a great situation with “the wolves” (you know the story/book/movie about the boy raised by wolves), but whatever it is, I enjoy it. In reality, the wolves are just normal 17-year old students with the same issues that everyone else their age experiences. In my favor is the fact that I’m a young teacher that can identify with them… I also teach a class that is relevant to most of them. Sometimes they get so lost trying to understand why they need to learn the square root of 841, or why certain liquids boil at different temperatures, that they can’t help but question, misbehave, or lose touch with their classes and school. The advantage of teaching English, especially to the advanced students, is that the students realize the importance of learning a foreign language. Also, I try to tell them about my own experiences and stories as a young man – from choosing the right university to imagining a life outside of Lima sometime in the near future. However, the most common questions are about college, girls, and inevitably - college girls.

On top of all that, I enjoy what I teach. I have a great boss who gives me the freedom to teach what and how I would like. I get to choose articles, stories, activities, and videos that interest the students as well as myself. The students can see that I’m genuinely interested and believe in what I present to them; the least they can do is appreciate the effort. (Most of the time). Considering the circumstances - foreign language, foreign country, and foreign experiences - I consider myself very lucky to have found a job that interests me.

Second, I find it appealing to compare this job with my previous job. I don’t know how often in a person’s life one can change jobs, which, on the surface, seem so completely different from each other. I don’t have an example right off the top of my head, but it happens more often than you think.

Before I was at Santa Maria I was in Kansas City working for YRC Worldwide as a Strategy Analyst. The role of Strategy Analyst is a bit more complicated to explain than the role of a teacher, but for the sake of everyone’s sanity, lets just say that a Strategy Analyst analyzes strategies! Whew! Okay, moving on. Each day I drove from the Brookside area to Overland Park, KS. I worked on the 7th floor in the Pricing and Yield Management department overlooking I-435 highway. My cubicle walls could best be described as death-colored and on most days my eyes were sore from staring at a computer screen all day. I enjoyed some parts of my job, most notably working with some great people. Additionally, YRC paid for my graduate education and had very good benefits. Now that I’m in Lima, I walk to and from work – normally a 5-minute walk. I work in a small classroom with access to the outdoors. I am on the computer for only an hour per day and for the most part am interacting with students for the other 6 hours. I receive none of the normal benefits that American companies provide to their employees. As far as my salary, I get paid just enough to pay my rent and food every month.

If I think optimistically, working at YRC prepared me very well to work at Santa Maria.

The political power of networking and socializing is just as important at SM as it is at YRC.

I also learned at YRC that any email, note, report, or presentation should be your best work – meaning, if I send a random email to a colleague there is a chance it might work its way to someone of greater influence, so it needs to be done with that possibility in mind. At Santa Maria my students are more likely to pay attention to me if my presentation, worksheet, or lecture looks professional or even somewhat cool. If they see something technologically impressive (even if it is my own grading system I started on excel using simple formulas… insert nerd voice here) then my credibility automatically goes up. I’m not saying that is justifiable… I’m just saying that I’m appealing to my audience.

Another significant similarity - taking initiative is important in any job, so if there is a situation in which I can stand out from the crowd then I should take advantage of it. I’ve already started my own English club… it started slow – 1 student, yeah! But we’ve got some good things going on… our membership is doubling each week! (BTW, we’re in week 3). Besides the social work the students are required to perform, Santa Maria is seriously lacking extra-curricular activities. Hopefully I can sustain the English club long enough that the students can start running the meetings and organizing the events. Like I said, I guess optimistically speaking, I was lucky enough to work at YRC before coming to Santa Maria.

I don’t think my situation is any different than any of your situations. I just happen to be in a different country doing all these things. I still have to worry about all the normal life problems; I just worry about them in Spanish now. And if I think about my situation, I’m no more or less lucky than any of you. I guess thinking optimistically has given me many reasons to appreciate being thrown to the wolves on my first day. I liked the fact that others were questioning me even before I started this job – you can call it luck; you can call it circumstances; you can call it divine power (thanks for praying for me mom!); or maybe a combination of all three. Whatever “it” is, I’m enjoying my time here in Lima at Santa Maria.


I have to give credit for some of the lessons, readings, activities we've done this semester....

Thanks to my buddy Chad Sogas, or Bobby G as he is commonly referred, for the inspiration:
I showed my class this picture (above) without any explanation as to who this person was or what he was doing. They needed to write a short story describing the life of this man. The results were incredibly entertaining... here are a few:

- Mr. Mustache: He has an obsession with smelly socks and bendable bars.
- Jose: A beer-loving gambling addict.
- Carlos: The Brazilian Street Fighter
- James: The retired boxer trying to regain his fame by performing obscure feats of strength.
- Sockman: Nemesis of Spiderman... honeymooning as a co-author of comic books staring Gene Simmons and Barack Obama. He also published an autobiography, "Under the Sock", an instant best seller.
- Peter Sanchez: President of a multi-national hand band enterprise.
- Ronnie Vinnucci: Graduate of the class of '93 at Richmond High. Repeated both Junior and Senior years, inspired by his boss at the laundry-mat, Mr Lee, Ronnie became a world renowned wrestler.
- Timothy Davies: A recently fired business-man who walks in on his wife cheating on him, starts smoking weed, starts jogging regularly, starts growing mustaches, and starts beating up dudes down at the boondocks.
- Joe Stevenson: A homeboy who liked to exercise all day and all night (very similar to Bobby G)

If you would like to know the real identity of this man, check it out for yourself - KYDJ

.... more credits coming soon...

Profesor,

Brayan